Indian Summer

I hate starting my day off with negative vibes and self-conscious thoughts.  I hate how I'm able to just tear myself down with this feeling of not being good enough or being close to perfect.  It's hard at times to keep a positive mindset these days.  Makes me think about how high my self esteem is.  Cause I know at the moment its not high at all.  It's so sad to know this is how I am and how I feel about myself.  I used to not care what anyone thought about me and didn't have to try to fit into peoples lives or interests cause I did everything for myself.  What happened to the old me?  Why must I care so much about insignificant things in life?  Why must this always be a burden in my life.  It really is not necessary.  I'm just bringing myself down for no reason, really.  This whole paragraph is ridiculous.

So Summer has been interesting this year.  It's crazy how it's ending soon... I'm more curious as to what's going to happened once Summer is gone.  People will leave, people will start school, yada yada.  And I will once again stand still (seriously, this whole entry has this weird black cloud over it).

As of recent, I've been playing around in the kitchen trying out vegan recipes.  It's one of the only things I've got going that is keeping me sane.  At times I want to try out the vegan diet for a week or so.  See how it makes me feel and such.  Maybe in a week or so.  I also want to detox my body and cut out smoking and drinking.  I just feel like my body needs a serious cleanse.  I've been smoking for too long and drinking for so long.  I think my body needs a rest from all of the poisons I intake all the time.  It would be nice to feel energized and less sluggish all the time.