"Sunday Funday"

You know, I've been really good at not being a COMPLETE drunk ass.  But there's just times where I just take things into excess.  Going right back to my stupid drunk ass ways.  Looking back at it all just puts me to shame.  It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

So the other night I got pretty smashed and said something that was probably not necessary at ALL.  It was a small thought but my drunken emotional side kicked it in full force.  Pretty much made myself look like an insecure fool.  The next morning I just felt stupid and out of it.  But luckily the friends that did get back to me slapped some sense into me.  I guess I was just making a bigger deal out of it than it really was.  I just feel like I should keep my cool and not let little insignificant things bother me like that did. Anyways.

Today's my lazy Sunday.  No work no nothing.  But it'd really like to get some fresh air.  Or at least get outta the house or something.  But this gloomy weather is just setting me back and making me feel extra lazyyyyyy.  Must.  Fight.  It.

Hyde Edwards

AND this is the cut.  I imagined it to be a LOT shorter, but hey, I'm not complaining.  Cut off over 10 inches of hair that I will donate to Locks of Love.  I think I'll where my hair short for a while now.  Next time I'll go even shorter.

You know that feeling when you know things aren't going to fall through or get forgotten or get flaked on?  Sadly to say that I think tonight is gonna be another one of those nights.  I mean, I have hope... but I won't be completely disappointed cause I'm kinda used to it.

Anywho.  Times like these when I feel like I need a cigarette.  That and I finally finished that bottle of Stella that I opened a night or two ago

My Body is a Bomb

Today is my boyfriend's 23rd birthday!  So wishing him a very happy birthday.  Unfortunately I didn't get to see him today, but luckily I did get him for the whole weekend and we celebrated his birthday together yesterday.

This Monday has been a pretty uneventful one.  I pretty much caged myself in my room the entire day.  After Nate left early this morning I couldn't get to sleep so I pretty much stayed up from 5am till now.  I mean I did end up passing out for a few hours sometime between finishing up Skins and watching YouTube tutorials.  But that's pretty much been my day.  Hiding in my room watching TV shows and eating.

I attempted to get out of the house for a bit when my bff texted me.  But by the time I actually showered and got ready we had to reschedule cause she forgot about previous plans she made in advance.  So now I'm here.  Lonely as hell and drinking some wine.  I mean, I know there's something that I could be doing that's more productive than this... but I kind of really just want to be out of the house.  Luckily I have work tomorrow night.  That'll keep me busy for a while.

On a lighter note.  This weekend was pretty entertaining.  Long story short: chilled in Cerritos for a day, back in SD and watched the UFC fight, double dated with my sister and her boyfriend for brunch on Sunday, and Nate and I roamed Earth Day drunk.

I'm pretty much over today.

Enemies - A Blind Cocktail

Sometimes I don't know why I have a physical journal to write in as well was a cyber diary to type everything in.  It's odd cause it's basically the same thing... but not.  I guess there's just different satisfactions of having the two.  This is probably my millionth blog on the internet.  I don't know, I just grow out of certain feelings I guess.  Change it up, forget those moments and start a new chapter.  Does that make sense?

As granny as it is to say: It's way past my bed time.  But I can't sleep and I don't want to continue watching Skins all night.  I don't know what else to do with myself except for this.  So if this is all jumbled and doesn't make too much sense... I guess it's not supposed to.

I hate to sound pessimistic or carry on negative vibes, but life is shit.  Well not completely, but I could be doing so much more with it.  I can't dwell on a shitty life forever though.  It is how you make it, right?  I'm trying to be positive and get my life in order... I just feel like I have to make big changes that I don't think I'm ready for yet.  Just a bit longer in my comfort zone, yeah?  That's just pathetic and lazy of me though.  Oh why don't you grant me with some motivation and I can do great things?  Shape up, girl.

Let's be carefree and not give a fuck what anyone else thinks.  Let's just live and be happy and satisfied with what we've got.